a waking nightmare

{dedicated to the survivors of the earthquake in Haiti}

the shaking ground is slipping out from underneath
the feet i was convinced were firmly planted
everything i thought was stable crumbles in the street
and i'm not quite sure
of anything anymore

security becomes a thing of yesterday 
all hopes and dreams, it would seem, have simply flown away
at every corner lurks another hidden tragedy
and i'm not quite sure
of anything anymore


what happens next? how will i carry on?
this nightmare lasts forever; the hope of waking is gone...
the fear has turned to panic, which has transformed into despair
and i'm not quite sure
of anything anymore

remember?

how quickly the world has moved on
minus one small island
not one life here
bears any sign
of tuesday's grand disaster

how did they all forget so fast..
push it from their minds?
as for myself
it is still here
keeping me up at night.

haiti.

the images they haunt me
corner and rebuff me
suffocate and drown me
in despair and hopelessness

blood and dirt
sweat and tears
wailing, weeping, praying
pain so deep
no bandage
could ever bring relief

families torn apart
crying out from rubble
elederly who lie
on the dirt from which they came

who will come to stop this madness
who will drive away these visions

no one. 

call me crazy

call me crazy
see if I care
comment on my make up
or what I choose to wear
it doesn't phase me anymore
you can say what you want but
the only one who cares what you're saying
is you.

you think it matters
to me what you think?
but I decide for myself,
and before you can blink
I'll choose some new and outlandish
thing, just to elicit a response
from you.

I think at this point
it's just amusing
to watch you wriggle
and snaggle at my choosing
its like you just don't get it
so I'll just keep saying
call me crazy...see if I care.

curiosity kills.

I die slowly...a tortured soul
stuck with no release
I search deperately for a hole
I search myself for peace

Who would have known that by knowing
one would come to know nothing at all?
And who would've thought that by helping you stand
I'd set myself up for a fall.

But now I'm here
ensnared by my diligence
caught by my ignorance
and chalking one up
to my willful perseverance
I die.

Desperate Plea

This is a song I wrote over the summer...hope to have a video of it on youtube soon. But here are the lyrics for now.

Desperate Plea
Father I come
And ask You for a vision
A glimpse of Your will for my life
All that I desire
Is what You have in store
God, I want to hear You once more

So I lift my heart, my hands, my ears
And I humbly ask for You

To pour out Your spirit
onto me, Lord fill me up
I'm broken and waiting for You
With all I have within me
Oh, I'm crying out to you
Take my will from me
and give me Yours

I've tried so many
Times to do it my way
Strayed off your path for my own
But You've brought me back
with mercy and compassion
to where You wanted me all along

So I lift my heart, my hands, my ears

And I humbly ask for You

To pour out Your spirit
onto me, Lord fill me up
I'm broken and waiting for You
With all I have within me
Oh, I'm crying out to you
Take my will from me
and give me Yours

I just want to hear
Your voice
Even when You speak without making a sound
I don't want to let
Your words
Just fall silently to the ground

if the world ends

if the world ends
and we're still just friends
then that will be enough
but it's still turning
and I'm wondering
if there could be time for for love