call me crazy

call me crazy
see if I care
comment on my make up
or what I choose to wear
it doesn't phase me anymore
you can say what you want but
the only one who cares what you're saying
is you.

you think it matters
to me what you think?
but I decide for myself,
and before you can blink
I'll choose some new and outlandish
thing, just to elicit a response
from you.

I think at this point
it's just amusing
to watch you wriggle
and snaggle at my choosing
its like you just don't get it
so I'll just keep saying
call me crazy...see if I care.

curiosity kills.

I die slowly...a tortured soul
stuck with no release
I search deperately for a hole
I search myself for peace

Who would have known that by knowing
one would come to know nothing at all?
And who would've thought that by helping you stand
I'd set myself up for a fall.

But now I'm here
ensnared by my diligence
caught by my ignorance
and chalking one up
to my willful perseverance
I die.

Desperate Plea

This is a song I wrote over the summer...hope to have a video of it on youtube soon. But here are the lyrics for now.

Desperate Plea
Father I come
And ask You for a vision
A glimpse of Your will for my life
All that I desire
Is what You have in store
God, I want to hear You once more

So I lift my heart, my hands, my ears
And I humbly ask for You

To pour out Your spirit
onto me, Lord fill me up
I'm broken and waiting for You
With all I have within me
Oh, I'm crying out to you
Take my will from me
and give me Yours

I've tried so many
Times to do it my way
Strayed off your path for my own
But You've brought me back
with mercy and compassion
to where You wanted me all along

So I lift my heart, my hands, my ears

And I humbly ask for You

To pour out Your spirit
onto me, Lord fill me up
I'm broken and waiting for You
With all I have within me
Oh, I'm crying out to you
Take my will from me
and give me Yours

I just want to hear
Your voice
Even when You speak without making a sound
I don't want to let
Your words
Just fall silently to the ground

if the world ends

if the world ends
and we're still just friends
then that will be enough
but it's still turning
and I'm wondering
if there could be time for for love

{lyrically correct II}

Really...it's not the end of the world. Please just move on...because I already have.

Part Of It
by Relient K

I've been working with adhesives
Chains and locks and ropes with knots to tether
But nothing's taking to the pieces
I can't seem to hold it all together
But you should know
Cause that explains why it all just fell apart


It's not the end of the world
Just you and me
And we're a part of it
Everyone
We're a part of it
Everything
And if a nightmare ever does unfold
Perspective is a lovely hand to hold

Well I've been trying to ingest this
But everything to me just seems like nonsense
And I'm not sure if I can get it
I guess its time for me to grow a conscience
To combat the lapse
That explains why all of this simply collapsed

It's been forever since I've gone
But I'm the Cusack on the lawn of your heart
May be forever 'til I go
But before then you should know that I could tear that place apart
And I swear this to you
I wish that this was not the truth
But it's something that you fell into
And crawling out is hard when you
Are not so sure it's what you want to do
Not convinced it's what you want to do

It's just the weight of the world
Giving out under the string
But we're a part of it
Everyone
We're a part of it
Everything
And when a nightmare finally does unfold
A nightmare finally shows
It's not the end of the world
Just a calamity
And we're a part of it
Everyone
We're a part of it
Everything
And when a nightmare finally does unfold
Perspective is a lovely hand to hold

all for love

In the name of love stones have been thrown
walls torn down and planes been flown
into buildings tall
and mighty once
now in ruins
all for love

In the name of love families have been
built up, broken down into shards again
shards of what
they ceased to be
when they were
all for love

In the name of love many have died
and one, the perfect sacrifice
to wash away
my sins and yours
and bleed and die
all for love

(un)willingly

ah, the clarity that comes from looking back
discarding memories that once brought joy
and now remind of what I lack
but lack so willingly

not wanting to bring you more pain
I keep my distance, try to stay
away, but feel that it is vain
in vain unwillingly

you try to cleverly disguise
your attempts to retake my life
in kind, oily words you sneak
sneak so willingly

I try to gently, push you, guide you
back to your side of this fence
the fence that both protects and traps you
traps so unwillingly

if I could somehow make this easier
mend your heart or soul or simply
erase this dark spot forever
I'd erase so willingly

{lyrically correct}

New cd. 
I love it. 
This song, the title song of the album, really applies to some of the feelings I've been experiencing lately. We all have those thing we just want to forget about and leave behind.
Maybe, instead of pushing aside those regrets we should turn around, deal with what's behind us, and then move on.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY2ma7BWkUU&feature=related


 

Forget and Not Slow Down
by Relient K

How many times
Can I push it aside
Is it time I befriended all the ghosts of all the things that haunt me most
So they leave me alone
Move on with my life
Be certain the steps of left and right don't fight the direction of upright

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it

It's time to decide
Which is out of my mind
Cause it'll be me unless I put some thoughts to rest and leave some faults behind
I'll watch the glint in my eye
Shine off the spring in my step
And could be blinding depending on the amount of You that I reflect

Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
Oh oh
Oh oh
There's something I should tell you now

bloggers lament

Well, this wasn't meant to be
a blog solely for poetry
But inspiration's taken over
And I'm not going to fight it.

Large's questions.

heart change
head change
love recieved
final decision
i've believed
and now what?

choices, so many
to be made
am i to change
or stay the same?
and how exactly
do i show
this change externally?

the search.

i searched
i tore apart an empty heart
to look
to find
something of worth in this life
something worth the climb

and what I found
oh, what I found
shook my very soul
meaningless?
just nothingness?
a message dark as coal

is there nothing
but vapors
wind that can be chased
but never caught
changed
but never erased

is there nothing new
under the sun?
in this vast and varied
earthy ball
that we spin on?

can nothing be done?
what can be found
to change this bitter viewpoint?
other opinions seem to me
few and far between

but i'll never stop
in this search
for i know that there is hope
it exists
i've seen it before
and it has left me
wanting more
and now i'll never stop
no, never stop

{inspired partially by the book of Ecclesiastes}

Pages.

I stepped back and took a look

At the pages of my life,

as if it were a book

I journeyed to where life began

through everything I'd tried to cram

into its measly pages.

I went through all I thought I knew

at all my different ages

And noted well that as I grew

I went through many stages

Of wisdom, life and dreams

and love and faith in God

and I returned to all of the places

my wandering feet had trod

There are things written there

I'd tear out if given chance

Perhaps increase font size

To emphasize a circumstance

But who will read it when I'm gone?

And really, does it matter?

If the choice be publish or destroy

I'd likely choose the latter

My eyes wandered to passages

worn by my fingers leading

I wondered at my ignorance

in my choice of reading

what good is it to go through life

just knowing your own story?

if I read yours, and you read mine

now that would be a glory